Unfullfilled Dreams (Being Introduced to my Foe Reality)

Realising one’s limitations is about the most depressing stage of self-discovery that is possible. I have searched long and hard, tried to the utmost of my abilities to find who I am, and what I want to do. My entire life has been shrouded in delusion, masks worn and games played to amuse myself. As I had only myself as company, this was satisfactory. Now, as I am gradually maturing and broadening my horizons, there is no place for such foolishness. But, my idealistic self still remains; expectations soaring to the sky with regard to life, love, work, education, leisure, mental health, how my body should look and my personal character. Sometimes, it is just one dizzying dream after another. However, the greater the expectation, then the greater the fall. I find this out on a daily basis. What makes a person so idealistic? Desperately trying to fulfill dreams, as wild as they may be, even conspiring for future ways to achieve the ideal.

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The Fly

Sometimes one feels like a fly on it’s back, on it’s last legs, so to speak. I imagine the incessant buzzing screeches mortal turmoil, a desperate plea to cling to life. Though, of course, it is merely the turbine of wings. What would said fly, in its youthful vigour, see when viewing me? Perhaps, said fly would hear the howling of my voice, the thrashing of my limbs, both metaphorically and literally. If I howled, or buzzed, at such volume and pitch would the moon wane? Of course not! Neither the fly nor moon would care less. I would be a mild curiosity of everyday life on Earth: which is, ultimately, the cold reality. I should be human, and put the fly out of it’s misery.

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